Another Larger Mountain

So, its time to return to the Climbing the Mountain Blog once again.  My last post was at Caleb's graduation from high school-if you go back and read it-I told of how Caleb had recovered and hurdled the Chemotherapy mountain into a total remission.  From there he has completed three complete semesters of college.  He's done well living on his own in the dorms.  He went from Greenville, South Carolina to closer to home at Grand Canyon University in Phoenix for the two years of college.  Yet, in the back of our minds we always knew the possibility of relapse was actually better than 50%.  This is a hard truth to live out.  We learned that "one day at a time" is the best philosophy to employ with such a dark truth hanging over you.  So, in the middle of Caleb's Spring break of his fourth semester of college Caleb was re-diagnosed.  His treatments have taken an amazing double-minded paradox.  In one way of thinking he has responded incredibly well to treatment-popping into remission very quickly, yet enduring all of the side effects to the max.  Wow-three diagnosis' of sepsis.  The first two were quick recoveries-but the third totally knocked him down.  Today I sit in the hospital room playing Disney favorites-music he loves no matter how old he gets  Caleb has not been able to communicate normally since this time last week-5/13/16.  Yet his eyes twitch crazily when I ask him if he hear's me.  Pretty sure he's hearing things.  Yet, we wait-praying for each small progress to normality.  Last Saturday the doctor gave us the prognosis that it didn't look like Caleb would be with us before the day ended.  Yet, God in His grace preserved life once again.  My son is still here-improving steadily and hopefully looking forward to final healing with a bone marrow transplant from his sister Jeanette.

The question why constantly lingers over our heads-and some in our family have struggled with this in human thinking.  I am thankful that God has shown himself so many times to me that I continue to hang on to the great Sovereignty of a Loving God.  This life isn't the end-there are so many amazing things that lay ahead when we are with the Savior.  It is hard to look past what we can concretely see-but there's more.  God's Word is plane on this.  I can't answer why-but my loving and wise God can  His love is so great and present.  These words from Paul are helpful in understanding this truth:

1 Corinthians 13: 12 For now we see through a glass, darkly; but then face to face: now I know in part; but then shall I know even as also I am known.

For now I support my only son with love and compassion-and leave the rest to God.  These Words from Mark Hall have been an amazing comfort-

Who am I, that the Lord of all the earth
Would care to know my name,
Would care to feel my hurt?
Who am I, that the Bright and Morning Star
Would choose to light the way
For my ever wandering heart?

Not because of who I am
But because of what You've done.
Not because of what I've done
But because of who You are.

I am a flower quickly fading,
Here today and gone tomorrow.
A wave tossed in the ocean.
A vapor in the wind.
Still You hear me when I'm calling.
Lord, You catch me when I'm falling.
And You've told me who I am.
I am Yours, I am Yours.

Who am I, that the eyes that see my sin
Would look on me with love and watch me rise again?
Who am I, that the voice that calmed the sea
Would call out through the rain
And calm the storm in me?

Not because of who I am
But because of what You've done.
Not because of what I've done
But because of who You are.

I am a flower quickly fading,
Here today and gone tomorrow.
A wave tossed in the ocean.
A vapor in the wind.
Still You hear me when I'm calling.
Lord, You catch me when I'm falling.
And You've told me who I am.
I am Yours.

Not because of who I am
But because of what You've done.
Not because of what I've done
But because of who You are.

I am a flower quickly fading,
Here today and gone tomorrow.
A wave tossed in the ocean.
A vapor in the wind.
Still You hear me when I'm calling.
Lord, You catch me when I'm falling.
And You've told me who I am.
I am Yours, I am Yours, I am Yours.

Whom shall I fear?
Whom shall I fear?
'Cause I am Yours, I am Yours.

These words give great comfort to me-may they to you.